Parent’s Guide to Identifying Sexual Abuse in Children

Parent’s Guide to Identifying Sexual Abuse in Children

In honor of Child Abuse Awareness and Sexual Assault Awareness month, we are combining the two to

raise awareness of child sexual abuse. This is your guide to identifying sexual abuse in children.

What is child sexual abuse? Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse that includes sexual activity with

a minor. A child is a minor and therefore cannot consent to any form of sexual activity. Like domestic

violence, sexual violence is an umbrella for a host of various types of sexual abuse. These include but are

not limited to:

 Exposing oneself to a minor

 Intercourse

 Masturbation in the presence of a minor or forcing the minor to masturbate

 Fondling

 Sex of any kind with a minor, including vaginal, oral, or anal.

 Sex trafficking

 Any type of contact of sexual nature with a minor.

Now that we have a brief understanding of what child sexual abuse is, let’s look at some ways to create

dialogue and identify warning signs in children.

Stay involved in daily activities and talk to your kids. When your child comes home from school, engage

with them about their day. Try to use open-ended questions so that your child is leading the

conversation. Not only does this make them feel heard but it empowers them to be more open. Ask

them who their friends are and if they have concerns about them. Explain to them that it’s okay to set

boundaries with friends and family.

Know their circle. If you’re staying involved in your children’s lives, you should know the people

involved. Not only friends but caregivers, mentors, teachers, and coaches- to name a few. Don’t feel

overwhelmed by thinking you need to do a background check on every person but be aware of

concerning behavior that your child may exhibit based on their societal influencers.

Cross-check caregivers. As awkward as it may be, check those references! Ask the hard questions during

an interview with the caregiver. Your child’s safety is at stake. Too many times, a child is put into the

care of a person with an ulterior agenda. Do your background checks and trust your instincts.

Use media outlets. Pop culture has exhibited sexual violence throughout its entirety. Be sure to have an

open discussion about social media and other media needs. Children are exposed to the world through

television, radio, and the internet. Encourage conversation by asking your child what their thoughts are

on a certain topic they heard or saw through media programs.

While you are creating a dialogue with your children, keep in mind the following warning signs of sexual

abuse.

Behavioral signs-

 Your child may have a change in their hygiene habits, excessive bathing, or refusing to bathe.

 Trouble in school and keeping up with grades or missed assignments.

 Nightmares and bedwetting.

 Suddenly overprotective of siblings and/or offensive towards a caregiver.

 Finds comfort in old habits such as thumb sucking.

 Inappropriate sexual knowledge or behavior.

 Reacts to being physically touched.

 Expresses or shows signs of mental health concerns such as suicide, self-harm, depression, or

post-traumatic-stress disorder.

Physical signs- Signs may include

 Difficulty with physical abilities such as walking or sitting.

 Bloody or torn clothing.

 Frequent urination.

 Yeast infections.

 Pain, itching, or burning in the genital area.

Verbal cues- A child may indicate sexual abuse by verbally speaking sexual innuendos. If you hear a

verbal cue, inquire with your child about what they mean, and remember to ask open-ended questions!

It’s very important to teach your children the proper names for their body parts so that they can

properly identify when someone has done something inappropriate to or around them.

As a parent, you should always be thinking of ways to combat sexual abuse and how to keep that

dialogue open throughout your child’s life. The most important thing you can do is to communicate with

them. Talk to them about safety at school, with their friends, at events, and other places they may go

without a parent. If you need assistance Friend to Friend is happy to provide resources and guidance on

talking to your children about sexual abuse and how it has a lasting impact on survivors. Please reach

out to our advocacy office at 910-947-1703 and one of our trained advocates will be happy to provide

support.

If you suspect child sexual abuse, report it. Please see Rainn.org for more information on reporting sexual

abuse.

-Amanda